perma-anon post

[polizei]

Leave me an anonymous comment pouring your heart out. Say anything. Tell me your stories, your secrets, those things no one ever asks but you want to tell. Tell me about your love, your hate, your indifference, your joy. Tell me about what's inside of you when you're reading through these entries on your friends list, and tell me why you continue to come back here. Tell me anything. Tell me what you really think of me or yourself. Anything.

Post anonymously [by selecting the anonymous box]. Speak honestly. Post as many times as you like. One faceless wonder to another. You don't have to be on my friends list. You can just be stopping through. It doesn't matter.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

As obvious as I'm going to be, I'm going anon just because I don't know what the hell I'm doing.

I hated you. I've probably said "No, I don't hate you" a million times, but I hated you. Yes, that's past tense. I don't hate you anymore. I'm one of those people who believe that hatred can't last forever if you have gotten to know a person and are willing to grow up and let the past be the past. The truth of the matter is though, that it's tough. It's always been tough, and all someone needs is that one little thing to remind them of how petty and stupid they can really be.

So, I'm going to say the one thing that will hopefully, let me get over this and the entire goddamn past once and for all. I'm sorry for being a petty dickbag.

I'm not saying you haven't done or said anything wrong to me, because you have. That's behind us, and I don't feel like bringing up what you've done because that's not what this is about. It's about the fact that even though we're cool, I'm still a petty and ridiculous person and I don't like it anymore. We've both moved on. We've both had legions of people come and go. I don't want to speak for you because you hate that, but you seem glad that I'm willing to chat with you about fandom and stuff every so often. All of the problems right now are on me, and there are probably going to be more as a result of this, so once again, as I said at the beginning, I don't know what the hell I'm doing.

I don't dislike you. Honestly. You're a hilarious person and while I don't think things will ever go back to the way they were (and to be honest, maybe that's for the best considering we both know I don't have the strength to RP over AIM all day anymore haha), I still think we can be good friends. I just need to make the effort. That's right. I need to. Considering I'm the one thinking about this and everything that went wrong between us happened because I opened my mouth first and did stupid and irrational things impulsively. Well, with help. The thing is, I'm on my own now. No one else inspired me to do this, you didn't inspire me to do this, this is all a conscious effort to say I'm sorry for everything I did to wrong you, and I want to know how your cats are but I don't know how to ask.

I should probably sleep. Sorry for this too.

[polizei]

my fat cat, the black one? she's been okay lately. her same old self. recently we took in my neighbours cat from outside- we call her gingy, but her full name is king richard because i'm a loser. anyway. kitty didn't like her, especially when we found out she (gingy) was pregnant! but the other day while gingy was laying with me, kitty came and laid with us too. i don't hear them hissing at each other anymore. it's nice. i remember when that used to be kitty when she was small- our other cat would be so mean to her. i'm glad she's growing out of it too.

i don't know if you're on my plurk or not. i think you are. or at least were at some time. so i'm giving you the whole song and dance, so bear with me here haha.

gingy is lovely. it really helps every day just waking up to a little orange fluffball crawling on my face and meowing. or going downstairs and having her meow at me and run upstairs. it feels weird, but, it's nice to have the company. i really need it right now.

felikz, my derpy other stray cat with the dumb heart patch of fur near his butt- i think he was who you meant to ask about. but i'm not sure. anyway- he got in a fight with another cat(?) lately and got a real bad wound on his paw. he limped around for a few days (because felikz don't give a fuck) but we finally got him some help. he had to get stitched and he has a silly conehead and he's miserable and i took a picture and it's on plurk if you know my plurk and want to see it. he'll be getting the cone and cast off sunday, but he can't go outside for a bit. woe for him!

tl;dr about cats aside. i think you know my plurk, e-mail, and AIM, but just in case, i'll put them here:

sakugarne
exec.ashes@gmail.com
humanedfailure

if you're okay with it, you can talk to me on any of those outlets. or we can still talk here. hopefully you have this tagged, because i'd like you to see i replied.

it's okay. everything you wrote is okay. so let's talk, alright? (i didn't want to write okay again)