.oo1 - thoughts on christmas

[polizei]

i guess this signals my final move over to DW right here- the first actual entry!! i'll work some more at making my journal more personalized later after i get out of this slump and start getting shit done again.

also i'll put this all under a cut since normally these sorts of things aren't what people want to hear during christmas time!!

to quote a favourite light novel series of mine...i really consider myself a "human failure". over the years i've become so detached from what it is to be called living that it worries me.

we wont get into everything else but today we'll get into christmas.

christmas doesn't have any magic to me. i'm not religious, and opening up presents lost it's wonder to me two years ago. some people might say it's just because i'm growing up, but even right now as i sit here with presents for myself downstairs i don't feel a single thing. there is nothing special about this day to me at all, and i don't like that.

i've never been close with my family, so seeing them later today as well doesn't really... inspire anything in me either.

i'll be opening up my camera later at moms and i'm thankful for that camera. i'm thankful for the money they spent on me. but i know when i open it up i wont feel anything either.

it's a little worrisome to me.

all i can hope is that, if my girlfriend and i can ever spend christmas together in the future, she can teach me what it's like to appreciate things again.

Comments

[polizei]

that's horrid ;; yes i really wish people could go the extra mile... not get mad when you don't seem that excited about things for good reason.

i live in canada so i can't help ;~; i'm going to otakon though...

/HUGS

[grifstar]

I'm not religious in any since of the word (far far from it), but I do still like most of those holidays to some extent. Less for the whole "spending time with family" part of it (because I hardly get along with any of them but my brother and sister), but moreso for friends. They're fun, and when you're around people you want to be around, they're even funner. And I love doing little gift exchanges with people that actually know what to get for you, even if it's something completely dorkish. But I've had no money to do that anymore ;^;

But yes, commercialism has ruined so much of it. Just work in retail, you'll know how much of a bitch it is -_-


/cliiiiiiing, I don't even know if I'm gonna make it to a con this year... again. I have no one to go wiiith ;^;