.oo1 - thoughts on christmas

[polizei]

i guess this signals my final move over to DW right here- the first actual entry!! i'll work some more at making my journal more personalized later after i get out of this slump and start getting shit done again.

also i'll put this all under a cut since normally these sorts of things aren't what people want to hear during christmas time!!

to quote a favourite light novel series of mine...i really consider myself a "human failure". over the years i've become so detached from what it is to be called living that it worries me.

we wont get into everything else but today we'll get into christmas.

christmas doesn't have any magic to me. i'm not religious, and opening up presents lost it's wonder to me two years ago. some people might say it's just because i'm growing up, but even right now as i sit here with presents for myself downstairs i don't feel a single thing. there is nothing special about this day to me at all, and i don't like that.

i've never been close with my family, so seeing them later today as well doesn't really... inspire anything in me either.

i'll be opening up my camera later at moms and i'm thankful for that camera. i'm thankful for the money they spent on me. but i know when i open it up i wont feel anything either.

it's a little worrisome to me.

all i can hope is that, if my girlfriend and i can ever spend christmas together in the future, she can teach me what it's like to appreciate things again.

Comments

[polizei]

it's more of a "this is just another day" "oh, i got a lot of new things in one day as opposed to another day"

i want a flower day. nnghngnnhgnhngnh.

happy late christmas hun ;^;

[benamas]

why the christ isnt there a flower holiday

arbor day, fossil day, mountain day

even pascua florida is about the state of florida and not actual flowers

scream